Producer Paul's Ramblings

A LIFE TRANSPARENT by Tood Keisling tells the story of Donovan Candle, a man with a devoted wife and a dead-end life. Donovan once had dreams of being a writer, but real life and the pressures of earning a steady paycheck intruded and he soon lost his dream and settled for a boring but stable job and a life of average.

One day he finds himself flickering in and out of existance. Literally disappearing from the world and standing in a land of gray shadows inhabited by white, alien creatures. At first it’s for a split second, but the bouts of disappearance get longer, and his wife is no longer noticing he’s there. What’s going on?

Things go from strange to dangerous when Donovan’s wife is kidnapped (in a scene that will sadden/infuriate cat lovers) and held by a mysterious man known as Aliester Dullington. Dullinton wants Donovan to perform a task for him, to return an errant sheep to the Monochrome, a land full people whose lives have ceased to matter and who have simply disappeared from the real world.

This is an intriguing premise, and Keisling handles it well, giving us a character with which many can relate, a man who once had a dream and watched it die the death of a thousand small disappointments. He has become settled, boring, bland. And he will suffer the fate of all who have done the same before him. But he has a chance to change things, and he’s going to do his best to do so.

The book has interesting things to say about life and pursuing what you wanted instead of settling for what you became. The writing is tight and the story never flags. Despite some fairly heavy concepts, the prose never becomes pedantic, and the back and forth between Donovan and his brother Micheal is real and touching in spots.

My one complaint (and it’s a minor one) is that the ending is wrapped up just a little too neatly. I would have like perhaps a bit more ambiguity with Donovan’s decision in the consequences there of. There was a place I thought was the perfect ending about five pages before the book actually ended, which would have left enough room for doubt to make the story just that little bit more intriguing. But this is a small thing and certainly doesn’t detract a great deal from what is a really good story about life and how it should be lived, if you don’t want to find yourself relegated to obscurity.

Rating: 8/10

In the past couple of weeks I’ve read both SHOTGUN GRAVY by Chuck Wendig and GOBLINTOWN JUSTICE by Matt Forbeck, which is part of his Shotguns & Sorcery setting, so it’s been a shotgun sort of month. Here then are my reviews.

I continue to be more and more impressed with author Chuck Wendig, and SHOTGUN GRAVY is no exception. A novella, it tells the story of teenager Atlanta Burns (and what a great name that is) a reluctant hero who ends up helping a couple of misfits deal with the tormentors in their life. The two are Shane, an overweight Venuzualian (as he constantly reminds people when they call him Mexican) and Chris, and out and proud gay teenager. They are both being tortured and bullied by different people and they come to Atlanta, infamous after she settled a problem with a .410 shotgun. She is reluctant to help, but ends up doing so anyway. As she does, she discovers the cause behind the bullying goes deeper than she ever expected, and she runs afoul of people who are ready to make her life a living hell.

As with his DOUBLE DEAD, Wendig has written a story peopled with interesting, true to life characters. The story grabs you from the begin with a tease about what exactly Atlanta did to earn her reputation, and slowly draws you in. Atlanta is a complex teenager, full of anger, doubt, loathing for her mother (with good reason), and the need for friends even as she pushes them away. The other characters are equally compelling, the only exception being Chris. He is the loud, effeminate homosexual character who throws it in your face and, unfortunately, reminded me way too much of the Kurt Hummel character in GLEE. And the fact his name was Chris just made me picture Chris Colfer, who plays Kurt. Now, it’s possible Chuck has never watched GLEE and didn’t know how close he was treading to that character, but nonetheless, I found Chris, even though I liked him a great deal, the least rounded of the bunch.

But that’s a minor quibble. The story is outstanding, fast paced, exciting, and makes me excited for the return of Atlanta in BAIT DOG. Rating: 9/10

Matt Forbeck’s GOBLINTOWN JUSTICE is a short story set in the world of Shotguns & Sorcery, and Matt plans to write more in the series as part of his 12 for 12 Kickstarter campaign. This story introduces us to the world of Dragon City and the character of Max Gibson, a ne’er do well who leaves a tavern to find his friend, an Orc named Sig, standing over the body of a guard. Sig gets arrested and it’s up to Max to try and find the real killer and clear Sig’s name. What we mainly learn in this story is that Dragon City is a land of prejudice and racism (Humans and Goblinoids don’t like each other, and Elves don’t like anybody) and that it is, for the most part, every humonoid to himself. I like the setting and can’t wait to read more about it. The story is a servicable introduction to the land,  is engaing, and Max is an interesting character. I found the ending a bit less than satisfying, but it is actually in keeping with the tone of the setting, so it works.  All in all, a fine way to kill a half-hour (if you’re a slow reader) Rating: 8/10

So there you have it for now. Until next time. And please consider picking up a copy of my book, GODCHILD.

Every now and then you read a book that blows your socks off. Not because of any profound themes or life-changing words of wisdom, but simply because of its sheer badassery. DOUBLE DEAD is just such a book. From the first page, where vampire Coburn wakes up from a coma to find the world has gone to the zombies, to the last page, where (sorry, you’ll have to read it to find out), this novel never lets up. Coburn is not your friendly, sparkle-infused vampire that’s all the rage. Let’s put it this way. Colin Farrell tried to play a badass vampire as Jerry Dandridge in the remake of Fright Night. Coburn would rip Jerry’s neck off and shit down his neck, laughing the whole time he did it. Coburn is one seriously mean dude.

But the meanness breeds arrogance and overconfidence, which leads Coburn into a bit of trouble. He almost loses his (un)life to a pack of zombies. He escapes, but not before one of them bites him. His blood does something to the creature and she becomes, well, something new. Something aware. Which makes her really dangerous.

Then Coburn stumbles onto a group of survivors. After a tense standoff, he decides to make them his “cattle.” After all, with the majority of the population zombies, a vampire has to have something to chow on. So he agrees to take them west if they agree to feed him. From there, it becomes a bizarre road trip through hell in back. Half the fun of the book is reading author Chuck Wendig’s mapcap set pieces, full of blood, guts, cannibalism, gunfire, and explosions. And that’s just in the first act. From there, things get increasingly surreal and insane.

Wendig has populated his world with great characters. These aren’t your typical survivors you see in every zombie story. In many ways, it’s a miracle these people survived as long as they did before Coburn came along. But you believe they could survive, despite their differences and inabilities. They’re human, not zombie killing machine, and all of them are instantly relateable, and a few of them almost instantly unlikable. If you’ve ever read any of the author’s blog posts at Terrible Minds, you know that his prose is funny, profane, and engaging. The same can be said for this book, which is not for the prudish or faint of heart. It occasionally drifts into author intrusion sometimes, and you find yourself going, “what a clever turn of phrase Chuck has used there” so the writing is perhaps not as transparent as it could be. But you know what, when it’s this entertaining, who gives a damn?

If you like zombies, vampires, visceral horror, dark comedy, or all of the above, you need to pick up this book and give it a read. You’ll find yourself engrossed in one of the most original, enjoyable post-apocalyptic urban horror stories to come down the trail in a long time. I can’t wait to see the movie. Hell, I want to be the one to make the movie. RATING: 9.5/10

VEGAS KNIGHTS is the story of Jackson and Bill, two college age guys who also happen to be magicians. So, like any smart kids with mystical powers, they decide to head to Vegas and use the Art to cheat at Blackjack and win lots of money. This all goes really well…for one night. Then things begin to go horribly wrong. The boys learn that they aren’t the only magicians in Vegas. In fact, the town is practically overrun with them. All actual stage magicians are real magicians, and their leader is…well, that would be spoiling the trick.

But this magician isn’t happy with the status quo. He has in mind to break down the barrier between the living and the dead. He’s enlisted the help of Jackson’s father, and would dearly love to have Jackson, one of the most powerful magicians he’s seen, on his side. Jackson doesn’t want to cooperate, and things get ugly.

There’s much more to this engaging tale, but I can’t say too much else without giving things away, so hopefully what I’ve written above is enough to intrigue you. Because VEGAS KNIGHTS is an intriguing tale. It’s a wonderful idea well told by writer Matt Forbeck, full of cool characters, both living and dead, and an action packed plot that makes great use of the Sin City setting.

The character of Jackson is well-drawn. The story is told in first person from his POV, and he is an engaging character that you like. He’s not perfect, and has been badly wounded by a family betrayal, which gives him nice motivation and makes his actions at the end both believable and touching. The action is tight and the book is well-paced.

Now Matt is a Twitter acquaintance and a really nice guy, so that makes criticism tough, but I hope he’ll take it in the spirit in which it’s intended. The problems I had with the book were minor, but they did detract from the enjoyment.

First was the character of Bill. He’s one of those guys that you know is going to be annoying, and he was. He’s a smart ass, which is fine, but he was a smart ass in situations where he should have known better. The boys get into some really dangerous (as in potentially fatal) situations, and Bill makes with the pithy remarks. This can work in a movie, but in a book it makes me wonder why the bad guys just didn’t shoot him (or at least punch him in the mouth). This cavalier attitude occasionally rubbed off on Jackson, but was nowhere near as annoying or prevalent.

This was my biggest issue. The other two are more personal and may not bother you as much. The first was the main bad guy. He’s a figure and one of the book’s best ideas. I wanted to know more about him, about his past, what happened when he left where history left him (that will make sense if you read the book) and how he came into the position of power he did. Perhaps Matt will write a prequel that gives us some of that.

The other thing was the ending. I give Matt credit for going with an unconventional ending (and one that leaves things open for a second book) but it left me feeling a bit let down. If anything called for the ending you expect, it was this story.

But make no mistake, this is a good book that will keep you engaged and is well worth your time. I really would love to see it made into a movie, because it would be a good one. Pick it up and give it a read. Score: 7/10

Be sure to pick up a copy of my novel, GODCHILD. Available on Kindle. Thanks

Just finished reading Confessions of A Freelance Penmonkey, by prolific author Chuck Wendig (@chuckwendig). A book of writing advice, it is easily one of the best I have read on the subject in a long time. A compilation his blog posts available at Terrible Minds, the book covers manyfacet of writing, from getting started to writing query letters, and even the pros and cons of why you want to be a writer.

The book is written in an informal style in a completely NSFW way. This isn’t a book you want to read out loud in the office, but you will be laughing out loud several times. Chuck presents all this valuable information with tons of profanity, madcap observations, and a strange penchant for telling us he’s not wearing pants. I’m also a little concerned about his masturbatory habits and his apparent drinking problem. Seriously Chuck, lay off the booze-soaked wanking marathons and you’ll get a lot more done.

Seriously though, this book is a must have for anyone writing or thinking about writing. Especially if you’re thinking about writing and haven’t taken the plunge. Chuck lays it bare, both the good and the bad. He strips away the whole “mystical writer” myth and explains that writing is, in fact, hard work and downright discouraging at times (a fact I can easily corroborate). If you can read this whole book and still want to be a writer, then you probably have what it takes to be one.

Much of the advice in here is not relevatory. It’s things you’ve heard before. But it’s always good to be reminded of the basics and refreshed on things you may have forgotten. And Chuck does it in such a way that it all seems fresh again. I mean really, how many books, let alone writing books, are you ever going to read where you see a phrase like “rage fuck a pumpkin?”

My only complaint with the book (and it’s a minor one) is that some of the advice is repeated in several different columns. This is the danger of pulling the posts from the blog I guess, but I only need to be reminded so many times that the manuscript needs to be as error free as possible. Of course, I had that one stapled to my head by a third grade teacher, so maybe that’s my own cross to bear.

Anyway, get this book, read it, absorb its knowledge, make sure you recycle the bourbon bottles you drain while learning from Chuck, and then get to writing. Or not. Chuck may have scared you off. If he did, great. The last thing we need is more wanna be writers who don’t have the guts to actually do it.

Rating: 8/10

PS. Please pick up a copy of my book, GODCHILD, avaialable on Kindle.

As I sat there the other day eating my Chick-Fil-A sandwich and fries, I got to thinking about some gaming friends of mine who have boycotted the company because of its anti-gay stance. They asked me why I didn’t do the same. I made a cute quip about how I would sacrifice gay marriage for a Chick-Fil-A banana pudding shake. But then I saw something the other day about the amount of money the restaurant donates to anti-gay organizations, so I did a bit more soul searching and think I’ve come up with a reason why I still eat there, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

First off, they do have damn good food. They’re probably my favorite fast food restaurant. Their secret process (which, if you didn’t know, is simply that they soak the chicken breasts in pickle juice overnight) makes for a fine-tasting sandwich. So there’s the tyranny of the stomach to consider.

But that in and of itself really isn’t a good reason. The main reason is that, and I doubt they realize this, but they are wasting their money.

That’s right. All the money they are donating to these organizations fighting against gay rights is a waste. They would be as well served to use it as toilet paper or kindling. Progress can’t be stopped, it can only be slowed down for a while. These anti-gay groups are fighting a losing battle, they’re just too stupid to see it. Gay marriage is legal in 9 states now (including a couple I would have never expected) and that number will continue to grow. I feel reasonably confident we will a federally mandated gay marriage law on the books in my lifetime.

I believe this because I believe people are inherently good and reasonable. Once you push the religious nonsense aside, there is no real sound basis for denying gay marriage or equal gay rights. People are starting to realized that, and as the old guard dies away and young people grow up and see that the world didn’t screech to an abrupt halt when their uncle married another guy, the whole idea that gay people can’t marry, or visit each other in the hospital, or claim joint tax returns, will just be silly.

Now bigotry will never die. It and ignorance are two things that hang on to their misguided lives with all their worth. You can’t totally stomp out stupid anymore than you can kill every cockroach. But you can certainly marginalize it, and make it ineffective, and put such narrow-minded people in the minority. It happened with civil rights, it happened with sufferage, and it will have with gay rights.

So Chick-Fil-A is just pissing away millions of dollars. I know they work with charities too, so it seems that money would be better served going to causes that help people, not try to oppress them. After all, I thought helping others was a cornerstone of the Christian way. Eventually they may realize that they’re throwing their money away. Until then, I’ll continue to eat their tasty sandwiches and laugh how asinine they’re being.

And the chocolate peppermint shakes are back, so it’s time to go guzzle down one of those puppies.

I didn’t realize when I started to read CURSED that I was going to be reading a fairy tale, albeit a fractured fairy. But there it was. There are good guys, bad guys, curses (obviously) and a lot of magic that goes unexplained and you have to take on faith.

That lack of explanation threw me off initially. You are immediately thrown into the middle of the story of Nicholas and Cicely, two people who have been cursed by some unknown force. Nicholas is doomed to be slapped by someone every day. Cicely has a tennis ball and she’s convinced that if she drops it, the world will end. This information is doled out over several chapters as we slowly learn the nature of the curses and meet some of the other people in Nicholas’s life and how they are affected by both his current situation and past behavior.

Another thing that initially bothered me was Nick’s habit of lists. He might

1. Tell you what he was thinking.

2. Tell you what he wanted to do.

3. Tell you what he thought the outcome of that action might be.

At first it seemed like a gimmick, some cute way of being different, but as I read further, I realized it was Nick’s way of trying to make sense of the chaos his life has become. Nick (I’ve been through enough with him that I feel I can call him that) was a wreck before the curse showed up, and things have only gotten worse.

Eventually Nick and Cicely decide to see if they can find others who are cursed, and that’s when the book really picks up. Their hunt eventually leads them to the source of the curse and he/she/it is not happy about being discovered. Or is he/she/it?

That’s the thing about this book. It constantly keeps you guessing. Anything can happen. Not in the uber-powered wizard way, but in the fairy tale magical realism way, where you just accept things as they’re told. And you find yourself soon invested in the lives of these characters, hoping for a good outcome for them. Even the ones that turn out not to be what you expect.

My favorite character turned out to be Cicely. She’s one of those free-wheeling eccentric types (she calls water “snowman sweat”, among other things) who in the hands of a lesser writer could become annoying. But in Jeremy Shipp’s capable abilities, she comes off charming, defiant, and the glue that holds Nicholas, and much of the story, together.

I have a few nitpicks. I wish that had been more sensory details. Much of the characters’ surroundings are left for us to fill in, but Nick’s spare writing style (the story is told in first person) doesn’t really allow for such things. It works in the context of the style, so it’s more about my personal taste that any flaw in the writing. I also wish there had been a tad more explanation about a few things. I’m certainly not the type who needs to be spoon fed everything, but I do like some things told to me. A better sense of exactly how the “magic” (and I use that word loosely) came about would have been nice.

But these things do not detract at all from the story. I certainly look forward to more of Mr. Shipp’s odd, outrageous take on the world. For now, I suggest you

1. Buy CURSED

2. Read it

3. Come back and let me know what you think about it.

Rating: 7/10

An interesting thing happened the other day. I got a comment on my review of Fat Kid’s Wolfy Revenge. I was surprised by this for three reasons. 1) No one ever comments on my blog. 2) If there is a comment, it’s spam. 3) This comment was actually from the author of the book I reviewed.

You can read the comment below if you want, but the general gist was “thanks for reading the book, sorry you didn’t like it, I will take your comments to mind for my future endeavors.”

Now, considering the harshness of my review (and re-reading it, I see it was harsh) there could have been any number of reactions. The easiest and most obvious would be “fuck you, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Instead the author took the high road. It was quite refreshing and unexpected and I feel this is the way we need to go as writers and filmmakers to really engage our audience, by interacting with them in a positive way and considering their thoughts as valid and possibly a way to improve ourselves as artists.

This can be difficult at times. I know when I read bad reviews of COLD STORAGE on Netflix (and believe me, there are several) my first reaction is “fuck you, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” But then when I look at it from an objective viewpoint, I can often see the validity of the person’s opinion. (The exception is the obvious trolling comments, such as “this is the worst movie ever made the whole thing sucked.” COLD STORAGE isn’t Shakespeare, but the worst movie ever? Not by a long shot.)

But if we can take the true criticisms to heart, dissect them, and see if this is indeed a flaw in our work, we can do our best to mitigate it in future endeavors. Now I’m not saying we should take every comment, see it as a weakness, and try and change it. It’s a long-known fact that you can’t please everybody, but if we can take the essence of comments and distill something useful out of them, then that’s the way to go.  And like this author, we should take time to thank our readers. Now we don’t have to email every person who makes a comment or posts a review. That would be way too time consuming. But a general thank you occasionally in a blog is nice. And if a review or comment hits you in a particular way, good or bad, reach out to that person and talk to them (assuming they haven’t hidden behind the anonymity of the internet).

Engage and interact. You might gain a new friend. At the least, you might keep a reader. I don’t know if I would have read anymore of Krisitan Hanson’s future novels before the other day, but because he reached out to me, was friendly and respectful (probably more than I had a right to expect) and assured me he was improving as a writer, I will take a chance on more of his work. And perhaps my review of his next book will be better, gaining him some readers. That’s the whole beauty of the social network.

I just finished reading this book. The full title is The Fat Kid’s Wolfy Revenge: Not for the Weak Hearted or Mature Minded. The premise of this book was great. There is a werewolf running around and our protagonist, seventeen-year-old Joe, spots him one day killing someone. But instead of running to the cops, he decides to blog about it and live vicariously through the werewolf, since his own life is kind of boring. Great idea. If only the execution had been as good as the concept.

I really wanted to like this book. It started out well enough, with Joe being established as a fairly typical teenager living in a small town in Arizona which is just the dullest place on earth. So when he catches the werewolf killing a girl from school, one of the stuck-up princesses who wouldn’t give people like Joe the time of day, he rejoices and instantly writes about it on his blog. It is a pretty funny (if somewhat sick) scene involving the wolf and silicone breast implants.

And that’s when the book starts to go off the rails. See, the werewolf is sort of a teenage lycanthrope version of Dexter, killing only the people who “deserve” it, except in this case the people who deserve it are the jocks and rich kids who make fun of the geeks. That would be all well and good, except that as the story goes along, Joe becomes just as reprehensible as the people who so enjoys seeing the werewolf kill. And once we meet the werewolf, he turns out to be just as bad. You generally need someone to root for in a book, and none of the characters in this thing were likable. Joe is a movie-quote spouting, pop-culture loving teen, but he’s also mysogonistic, homophobic, and racist. The writer tries to do the “I’m hip and I’m not really this way it’s all just good fun” routine, but it doesn’t work. The gay jokes and women are sluts rants and aren’t aren’t illegal aliens a pain tirades soon grow tiresome.

Which leads to another big problem. The story is told from Joe’s blog, so you expect a consistent voice. That’s fine, but Joe brings in a couple of other voices. One is a girl who has witnessed the werewolf killing, and the other is the werewolf (once Joe learns who it is) who happily and in great detail talks about three of his kills. So, a perfect chance to have some different voices in the story. But no, these other characters sound and write exactly like Joe. And everyone of them relishes in watching people getting killed in incredibly gruesome ways (you expect that from the werewolf, but the girl found it no big deal either watching someone get decapitated). When the werewolf describes the kills, they are amazingly gruesome, to the point of just being dull becuase the shock value has long disappeared. By this point, you’ve gotten beyond caring.

Now it’s possible the author was trying to say something about how our teenagers have become so desensitized that horriffic violence is no big deal, or that all teenagers at heart are just complete jerks. Maybe there’s some deeper meaning I’m missing (but considering the title, I doubt it). Unfortunately, it just comes off as a thin, repetitive joke about bad teens getting ripped apart by someone who’s just as shallow and unlikable as they are. Rating: 3/10

THOR - Saw this movie on opening weekend. Really enjoyed it. Director Kenneth Branagh did a great job of balancing the tone of the film, making it serious, but not taking itself seriously. A lot more humor than I expected. Chris Hemsworth did a nice job of playing Thor’s brashness and he has a great deal of charm. Anthony Hopkins does his usual outstanding work as Odin, the father of the gods. But the real stand out was Tom Hiddleston, who does a bang up job of playing Loki, the conflicted, ultimately devious brother to Thor. This is one of those summer films that manages to (mostly) balance the effects with the emotion, and has a story that, while told before, still feels fresh. My one complaint would be with some of the production design. Parts of Asgard (Thor’s home) were a bit too steampunk for my liking, but it really didn’t detract too much. The only other thing I would say is that the 3D, while acceptable, really added nothing to the process and actually distracted a few times. If I see this again (which I may) it will be in 2D.  Rating: 7/10

OFFICIAL REJECTION – I watched this last night. This is a documentary by filmmaker Paul Osbourne (he’s on Twitter as @PaulMakesMovies) about the trials and tribulations of getting his film Ten Til’ Noon accepted into film festivals. It soon becomes a story of film festivals in general, the politics involved, the quirks of different festivals, and many independent filmmakers’ attitudes about them. This is all intertwined with Paul’s story of the different festivals they do (and don’t) get into, along with the humiliation of poorly attended screenings, the nightmare of badly run festivals, and the triumph when you connect with an audience and people love you. As a filmmaker myself, I could completely relate to this film and have experienced firsthand many of the same things Paul went through. There were parts that had me reliving my own experiences, but I have to confess I never had anything happen as bad as what happens to poor Blayne Weaver (@BlayneWeaver) at Chicago Indiefest. I was litereally squirming in my seat as I watched his nightmare of a delayed screening and his attmepts to get someone, anyone, to tell him what was going on. One festival I will certainly never enter (assuming it even still exists.)

But you don’t have to be a filmmaker to appreaciate this well-crafted and funny documentary. If you’ve ever even been the least bit curious about independent film and the hard work filmmakers go through to make their dreams happen, this movie will appeal to you. I was particularly amazed at the caliber of people Paul was able to get access to (sure, he lives in LA, but still). I’m talking about people like Brian Singer, Andy Dick, and Chris Gore. He also talks to several filmmakers I’ve never heard of, but he’s certainly got me curious to look up their work now. This is a film I’m definitely glad I saw, and I’ll certainly be checking out Ten Til Noon. Rating: 8/10

GRIFTOPIA - This isn’t something I saw, but a book I read by Rolling Stones writer Matt Taibbi. In this book, Matt talks about the recent economic collapse and the causes of same. This is one of those books that just makes you angry when you realized how we were duped and taken for a ride by the big players on Wall Street, with the seemingly full cooperation of our government. Although Matt lays much of the blame on Republicans (he does work for Rolling Stone) he is fair enough to call names on the Democrats who had their hand in the pie too. He reserves the majority of scorn and blame for Fed chairman Alan Greenspan (the chapter about him is called “The Biggest Asshole in the Universe”)  Taibbi does a great job of taking complicated investment schemes and breaking them down to make them understandable to the layman. His prose is crisp and funny and even when things are most dire, he keeps an upbeat attitude about. But I felt my ire rise many times reading this book, and I learned a lot of things I didn’t know. The amazing thing, of course, is that I don’t know if we really learned anything, and Matt makes that same assertion. A book well worth reading. Just make sure you have your blood pressure medicine handy. Rating: 8/10

That’s about it for now. Catch you next time.